Westwood, the voice of Chelfinger-Bentley Automotive.

Why Westwood ? Simple. He's as authentic as Chelfing itself, the 51 year old son of the ex-bishop of Peterborough, talking like a crack-addled teenage 'Gangsta'. I've removed his original email addresses and changed names to 'Mr M' and 'Westwood's Manager'. The rest is 100% genuine. Please do not post this anywhere in the public domain. My comments in red :

 

  

From: Mr M

Sent: 26 November 2008 19:29
To: Westwood's Manager
Subject: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

Hello.

I've been tasked with booking 3 Celebs to each drive a new model of Sportscar from the UK to Germany for a major Manufacturer in August next year. Tim Westwood's name has made our shortlist, I wonder if he would be interested ?

The date is to be confirmed in the next few weeks, it will be sometime in August '09, the format is as follows : Following an official unveiling (photoshoot) at a 5* London Hotel, the car should be driven (or co-driven if you prefer), via Calais to the press centre at the Nurburgring in Germany, where a series of short interviews with European media is planned. The car will then be tested (Tim would not be required to participate in track driving), a final photosession, followed by a direct flight back to London (City Airport or Heathrow, to be confirmed). It is anticipated that this would be a 10am - 11pm day, we can discuss the logistics etc in due course. Needless to say, we have a generous budget for this, and need to finalise details in the coming 2-3 weeks.

If you could confirm your clients availability and potential interest in working with us ASAP, it would be appreciated, we look forward to your response.

Yours

Mr M.

 

From: Westwood's Manager

Sent: 11/27/2008 2:13:59 PM

To: Mr M

Subject: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

Hi Mr M.

Tim is interested in this project - pending on dates of filming Tim is available to take part in this proposal.

Can you let me know the fee you are looking at for this project?

Regards

Westwood's Manager

 

From: Mr M 
Sent: 28 November 2008 10:41
To: Westwood's Manager
Subject: Re: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

 Dear Westwood's Manager 

Thanks for the prompt reply.

 Fees are to be finalised, we are looking at c.£60-80'000 for a full day although this is negotiable, we will (of course) meet all first class travel and any accommodation arrangements as may be required. The date will most likely be Saturday 29th of August.

 I will have the full brief and more info next week, and if you're happy with the fees, can forward this to you.

I assume Tim has a full clean UK driving licence, would he be interested in a couple of laps (under tuition from one of our Drivers if needed) perhaps ? There is some flexibility in the format still, and this is an idea we're exploring.

Regards

Mr M

 

From: Westwood's Manager

Sent: 12/1/2008 3:17:47 PM

To: Mr M

Subject: RE: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

Thanks Mr M

We are set at our end - please just send any further info when you receive them.

Thanks

 

 

From: Mr M 
Sent: 02 December 2008 16:20
To: Westwood's Manager
Subject: Re: RE: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

Dear Westwood's Manager

A few points for your attention :

1-A slight change in agenda (client very eager to get this 100% right), now looking at a 24 hour booking, midday Saturday to midday Sunday. The fee will be adjusted to reflect this, final brief to follow in the next couple of days. Is this acceptable ?

2-Can you confirm that Tim has a full UK driving licence, and advise details of any points etc ? Also, does he have any health issues at all ? This is for insurance purposes, it will be covered by the Manufacturer's own road/track policy, and is rather important as you can imagine.

3-Tim will be driving the first right hand drive car ever built (you might like the 'taster' pic attached by the way), he will have a private one-on-one session with Leckmir Amarsch, one of the lead Drivers, before driving this the car in front of the media, in order to acquaint himself with the controls etc. This is planned on the morning of the event, or we can arrange for Leckmir Amarsch at Tim's place if he prefers. Please advise.

4-Regarding media, I assume Tim does not speak German, would he prefer to learn some basic phrases, be dubbed, or subtitled instead ? Our clients preference is that he speaks a little German (their biggest market is Continental Europe), simple expressions such as : "Tolles Auto Helmut !", "Drei Fruhstuckeier", and "Sexyspeed baby" are buzzwords to be introduced by the Manufacturer this year for this car. Please confirm preference.

5-Does Tim have any special dietary requirements ?

If you could respond ASAP it would be appreciated. We're up against rather a tight schedule. Thanks.

Regards

Mr M

 

<-----Original Message----->
From: Westwood's Manager

Sent: 12/2/2008 6:45:22 PM

To: Mr M

Subject: FW: RE: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

 

Hi Mr M

 All info you require below - thanks

1 - date & time is fine 

2- full UK driving licence and clean

3- session can be at your location

4- Tim said he is willing to learn German but his pronunciation is awful!!!

5- Dietary - non

 

Subject: Re: FW: RE: RE: Booking enquiry - August 2009.

From: Mr M (Add to Contacts)

To: xx@timwestwood.com

Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2008 08:13:57 -0800

Cc: gunther.schwanzkopf@chelfinger-gmbh.com

 

 

Dear Westwood's Manager

 

As discussed, please find below initial Brief from our client Bentley-Chelfinger, you will be getting an NDA (Non-disclosure agreement) from them directly, this car is not yet in the public domain and Bentley-Chelfinger are naturally wary of any press leaks ahead of the launch. Please review it and confirm your acceptance. It looks like our client will use Tim (if he accepts), together with 1 or 2 other Celebs (they're after David Hasselhof but I doubt he'll agree, notorious PITA that guy). Oh - We need Tims date of birth for the Insurance dept. ASAP please.

 

If this is OK, please advise where and when you require payment, then my job is done. You'll be hearing direct from Gunter Schwanzkopf at Chelfinger GmbH who is Managing this project.

 

Thanks for your support.

 

Regards

 

Mr M

 

Brief : Bentley-Chelfinger Aero launch.

Day 1

1pm - Meet at Bentley Garage (address), introduction to the car (car #1) by Robert Wadok, Tim to be acquainted with the car and features. Driving limitations to be signed off (Ie, speed, revs, use of stereo inbuilt up areas), support team to be introduced (support vehicle). No press or Media present (Tim and Bentley support driver to prepare).

2pm - Drive from Bentley garage to Donington Park circuit (either Tim or Robert Wadok to drive depending on weather/traffic).

2.30pm - Press call, photoshoot and brief presentation by Leckmir Amarsch, Bentley Chelfinger UK Automotive at Donington Park Circuit. Anti-clockwise parade lap(s - qty TBC) around Donington by Tim. Vehicle to be released to BBC team for filming.

6pm -Tim taken to East Midlands Airport for flight to Frankfurt with Bentley-Chelfinger Aero liaison Officer.

8.30pm - Arrive Frankfurt, transfer to Nürburgring. Evening accommodation at Dorint am Nürburgring, meeting with "Kartoffeln TV" team, Q and A session. Private dinner. Close.

Day 2

10am - Press Launch for Continental Media, photocall, various short interviews. Car (car #2) driven (Tim as passenger if possible) around the Nürburgring by Chelfinger Aero Test Driver Harald Schipmann.

2pm - Return Ryanair flight from Frankfurt to London City Airport (or other London Airport).

3pm - Arrive London City Airport.

From: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com [mailto:gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com]
Sent: 04 December 2008 15:07
To: Westwood's Manager
Subject: RE: Timothy Vestwood : Bentley-Chelfinger Aero dok 14b rev1.

Mr Westwood's Manager

My English is not yet perfekt - but hallo.

You will see NDA dokument in some days plus formal agreement in 1-2 weeks. Mr M in London was passed me the files, this is OK and no issue with cost etc.

Press department urgently needs standard 'Biography' for Mr Timothy Westood, I only find on Wiki this dokument http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_westwood  you have something pre-prepared yes ? Also - age is how many ? D-O-B is year '57 or '67 acc to Wiki ? Insurance must have this correct. Also, needed small 'standard' photo if possible but this is not urgent.

I am told that there is no issue with Mr Timothy Westwood presenting together with Mr  David Hasselhof. Correct ? For Mr David Hasselhof everything must be planned 100% OK. Does Mr Timothy Westwood have experience of performance-car driving ? Or motorway or on track ? Mr David Hasselhof does prefer to be Passenger if possible.

There is a chance we will make it on Thursday-Friday not Friday-Saturday, this is with develpoment department who have some issues with V13 engine at present. I understand we must inform you ASAP. Track is booked either way. Confirmation together with dokument shortly.

Regards

Dr Gunter Schwanzkopf

Bentley-Chelfinger GbmH.

Tel +49 (0) 30 2092 1500

Mail gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com

Bitte die umwelt
zulieben !

Think of the Environment ! Think of the Trees before printing this document.

 

 From: Westwood's Manager
To: < gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com>
Sent: Thu, 4 Dec 2008 15:52:04 -0000
Subject: RE: Timothy Vestwood : Bentley-Chelfinger Aero dok 14b rev1.

Hi Gunter

Your English is very good, much better than what my German would be.

I have attached 2 versions of bio, long and short and pictures, please let me know if they are ok.

No problem with David Hasselhof, and Tim has had experience driving on a motorway and he is more than fine to drive.

Yes please can you confirm dates ASAP

Thank you I look forward to hearing from you.

D.O.B - 03/10/57

 

From: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com [mailto:gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com]
Sent: 05 December 2008 13:43
To: Westwood's Manager
Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com
Subject: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a
Importance: High

Dear Westwood's Manager

Thankyou again for email information, this is perfekt. Our Media department urgently need the 'soundbite', is this quickly possible ?

Can you sending this in any conwenient audio file format (.WAV, .IRK etc)- "This is Westwood ! Boom, drei Frustuckeier !" in Mr Timothy Westwood 'big' voice. This is new Media strapline for Bentley-Chelfinger group. We have this from Mr David Hasselhof already on time with schedule as always the Professional.

First part is English of course, next 3 word is written English phoenetically, 'like it sound', as below.

"This is Westwood ! Boom !  Dry Frew-stuck-eye-r ! "

Spoken quick and loud this should be OK. We can use best version if you wish to send many version, we will not use if incorrect of course, you will see our approval first. You can send on CD to me at the office, but best is by email for speed. If possible for Monday or Tuesday latest, because then later I am Skiiing in Flensburg ? Besten dank in voraus (thank you), as we say in Germany.

Wishing you nice week-end.

Gunter

Dr Gunter Schwanzkopf

Bentley-Chelfinger GbmH.

Tel +49 (0) 30 2092 1500

Mail gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com

From: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com [mailto:Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com]
Sent: 05 December 2008 07:07
To: Gunter.Schwanzkopf@Chelfing.com  [mailto:Gunter.Schwanzkopf@chelfing.com]
Subject: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hallo Gunter

Wir suchen dringend die folgendes Soundbite - Herr Tim Westwood, "Boom, drei Frustuckeier !", sonst noch etwas ?

Phoenetisch auf English est geht folgendes : "This is Westwood ! Boom, dry frew-stuck-eye-r".

Alles besten !

Maria.

PS - Er heisst einfach Tim, nicht Timothy.

From: Westwood's Manager
To: <gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com>
Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com
Sent: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 13:48:37 -0000
Subject: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Absolutely no problem

 

What does drei Frustuckeier mean?

Subject: Re: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a From: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com To: XX@timwestwood.com Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 13:57:33 +0000 Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com

This is perfekt.

My best translation, drei is 'three' of course, and fruckstuckeier means something like 'big hits', these hits are Performance, Quality and Exclusivity and this is central to Bentley-Chelfinger image.

Regards

Gunter

 

From: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com [mailto:gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com]
Sent: 09 December 2008 11:37
To: Westwood's Manager
Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com
Subject: Re: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hallo Westwood's Manager

This is good news. Thank you.

Legal team have English version of contract and terms etc very shortly, no issue with fee, current question internally is regarding final days (thur-fri or fri-sat) as per concern regard Timothy Westwoods schedule and engine dept timeframe.

I have requested use of one extra right-handed-drive UK spec car as media/loan unit this summer '09, perhaps for Mr Timothy Westwood ? See pikture. Mr Hasselhof has also requested such car, but automatic gearbox and Jewish Racing Gold color. If you can make extra soundbite comment/s as mention  that would be appreciated. Pls copy Maria as I am soon departing.

Regards

Gunter

Dr Gunter Schwanzkopf

Bentley-Chelfinger GmbH.

Tel +49 (0) 30 2092 1500

Mail gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com

 

 

----- Original Message -----
From: Westwood's Manager
To: <gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com>
Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com
Sent: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 17:48:30 -0000
Subject: RE: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hi Gunter, Maria

I hope these are ok and Tim's pronunciation is fine.

Please let me know.

If you require more sound bites please let me know ASAP as Tim will be able to do it tonight.

Thanks

(4 file attachments, see mp3 player on Bentley Chelfinger Aero page)

 

 

From: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com [mailto:gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com]
Sent: 09 December 2008 18:19
To: Westwood's Manager
Cc: Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com
Subject: Re: RE: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hallo

This is excellent, pronounciation 1st klass , very impressive for an American, please pass our sincere thanks to Mr Timothy  Westwood - if you could manage any of these to it would be appreciate :

"Supercar for the Superstar" - Normal Englisch.

"Vo lee-gt miner meer-schvine-chen" - German, this is written in Phoenetic Englisch for you to pronouce (4 words). See if you can manage. [Where is my Guineapig ?]

"Dry shtuk merbel ! " - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Easy ! [Three pieces of furniture !]

"Hundert per-zent lyekt-glow-big" - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Important one, pls try. [100% gullible]

"Auf-veeder-seyen Baby " - Phoenetic Englisch (2 words). =  "Goodbye Baby !", very good.

Mr Hasselhof could not manage this so good ! And now my flight is boarding, thank to you both again, talk soon. Pls remember to copy Maria Pfister.

Regards

Dr Gunter Schwanzkopf

Bentley-Chelfinger GmbH.

Tel +49 (0) 30 2092 1500

Mail gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com

 

----- Original Message -----
From: Westwood's Manager
To: <gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com>
Cc: < Maria.Pfister@chelfing.com>
Sent: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 18:27:04 -0000
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hi Maria

Please can you help as I believe Gunter is off and away having a lovely time. I'm jealous.

Gunter has explained how to pronounce but can you spell correctly the German pronunciation and the meaning of each one.

thanks

"Vo lee-gt miner meer-schvine-chen" - German, this is written in Phoenetic Englisch for you to pronouce (4 words). See if you can manage.

"Dry shtuk merbel ! " - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Easy !

"Hundert per-zent lyekt-glow-big" - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Important one, pls try.

 

From: maria.pfister@chelfing.com [mailto:maria.pfister@chelfing.com]
Sent: 09 December 2008 19:10
To: Westwood's Manager
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a

Hi AJ :)

I too am jealous, still in the office, no end in sight...

OK, this is really simple, I have added the translations next to each phrase below in color, Dr Gunter has written them how they should be pronouced in speech marks ("like this"). Just try it ! If they don't sound right, I doubt we will use them anyway. Your last ones were 99.9% perfect. :)

"Vo lee-gt miner meer-schvine-chen" - German, this is written in Phoenetic Englisch for you to pronouce (4 words). See if you can manage. (Means like : Where are they all at ?!)

"Dry shtuk merbel ! " - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Easy ! (Means like : Three bits of gold !)

"Hundert per-zent lyekt-glow-big" - Phoenetic Englisch (3 words). Important one, pls try. (Means like : A hundred percent legit !)

Good luck !

Maria

X

PS - Sorry Dr Gunter writes 'Timothy', not 'Tim', Dr Gunter is old, I will explain to him ;) x

 

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: 'Soundbite' Nr 18a From: Westwood's Manager   To: maria.pfister@chelfing.com Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2008 19:35:08 -0000

Thank you Maria.

He also calls me MR when I am Miss!

Thank you again J  

Westwood's Manager

 

Subject: Tim Westwood Drops!

From: Hassan Musa

To: gunter.schwanzkopf@chelfing.com

Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2008 02:47:39 -0000

Cc: maria.pfister@chelfing.com, xx@timwestwood.com